Looking for more information?  Information is provided below on a variety of topics including helping children cope with separation and divorce, children's mental health adult mental health topics. 

When Parents Separate: How you can help children cope

At the time of the separation

• Reassure your child that both you and his other parent still love him.
• Make sure your child knows that she is not the cause of the separation.
• Help your child understand that the separation is final. She needs to know that there is nothing that she can do to change it.
• Keep your child’s daily routine as consistent as possible.
• Reassure your child that he will visit the other parent.
• Be open to your child’s painful feelings. Don’t let bad or disruptive behaviour go too far. Help your child talk about any anger, fear or sadness.

After the separation

• Don’t speak negatively to your child about the other parent, his or her extended family, or friends. If you are still angry, find a supportive friend or counsellor to talk to about your feelings.
• Do not suggest, either with words or actions, that your child is disloyal if he enjoys time with the other parent.
• Be polite when your child is picked up or dropped off. If you smile and have him ready on time, it may help him cope with the transition.
• Make sure your child is clean, well rested and fed when he is on his way to a visit or returning home after a visit. It’s best not to send a suitcase of dirty clothes.
• Let your child talk to the other parent on the phone.
• Support your child, and respect reasonable limits set by her other parent.
• Don’t ask your child for information about the other parent’s activities, friends or income.
• Discuss visitation arrangements with the other parent beforeyou suggest a plan to your child. Confirm with the other parent visitation arrangements for teenagers.
• It is best not to discuss divorce disputes with your child. Don’t let your child hear you discussing any differences of opinion with the other parent.
• Never falsely accuse the other parent of any form of child abuse.
• Make sure you give important medical information to the other parent.
• If your child does not want to go to school or seems not to want to visit the other parent, she may be concerned about your well-being. Make sure your child knows that you are well.

A Canadian Paediatric Society statement is also available, Promoting mental health for children of separating parents

Source: Developed by the CPS Community Paediatrics Committee. Published in Paediatrics & Child Health, May/June 2000.

Resources for Separation and Divorce

If you would like further resources on the topic of children and divorce, there are resources available.  Please click here to be forwarded to the Department of Justice Canada for further assistance.

Children's Mental Health

Signs of Mental Illness in Children and Youth:

• changes in behaviour: e.g. an active child becomes quiet and withdrawn or a good student suddenly
• starts getting poor grades
• changes in feelings: for example, a child may show signs of feeling unhappy, worried, guilty, angry,
• fearful, hopeless or rejected
• physical symptoms: frequent headaches, stomach or back aches, problems eating or sleeping, or a
• general lack of energy
• changes in thoughts: for example, a child may begin saying things that indicate low self-esteem, selfblame
• or thoughts about suicide
• abuse of alcohol and/or drugs
• difficulty coping with regular activities and everyday problems
• consistent violations of the rights of others: e.g. thefts and vandalism
• intense fear of becoming fat with no relationship to the child’s actual body weight
• odd or repetitive movements beyond regular playing such as spinning, hand-flapping or head banging
• unusual ways of speaking or private language that no one else can understand